Refrigerator Hash

Not often would mom go out in the evening and leave us kids alone with dad.  For this we were extremely grateful because when she did, dad would ‘cook’.  Now when I say cook I’m being mighty generous with that term. Let’s say dad was a preparer.  He knew how to prepare two things: refrigerator hash and pancakes with slyrup. 

This one particular night I remember watching mom drive away in our red Chevy station wagon, dust a flyin’.  It was late-afternoon and she didn’t say where she was going, but considering the speed with which she went, I figured she wouldn’t be home any time soon. So when it was dinnertime, Dad opened the fridge, pulled out all the leftovers, and put ‘em on the counter.  He got the largest cast-iron pan we had, put it on the burner, and turned it on low. Then he shoveled a wooden spoonful of lard into the pan and let it melt down.  Then one by one he took each leftover out of its container and dumped ‘em into the skillet.  Might be okay if you have leftovers that are similar in taste and texture. But if you have spaghetti mixed with mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, tater tot casserole, carrots, corn, a little roast beef/extra-extra dry, and lima beans, it’s really not very good. What it is, is nasty!

I didn’t dare say that to dad.  He would have washed my mouth out with soap and then I’d still have to eat that hash. We all sat down to the table which Laurie, my older sister, set. Dad put a couple of pot holders in the middle.  He grabbed the hot cast-iron skillet with a few more pot holders and placed it in the middle of the table like it was the Thanksgiving turkey.  He was all smiles with his brilliant concoction. He scooped nice.......big......helpings on each of our plates and told us to dig in.  I scooched the food around trying to separate it out and just eat one food group at a time, but mostly that didn’t work.  I took small bites and washed it down with  loads of milk.  Dad dug right in with a healthy heaping-full on his fork.  You’d think with that big ol’ smile on his face he’d just invented some gourmet delight, some wonderful invention the rest of the world is just waiting to enjoy. You know …… like slyrup!